Submission to God's will (Mercy Monday)
Happy Monday, everyone! I've decided that, with the Year of Mercy rapidly approaching (it begins on December 8), I really need to get my act together and bring back more posts with St. Faustina's Diary. There are so many amazing chunks of epicness to munch on, pray with, and implement in our lives! Today, let's look at what God tells St. Faustina about following His will.
"During my meditation, I heard these words: My daughter, you give Me most glory by patiently submitting to My will, and you win for yourself greater merit than that which any fast or mortification could ever gain for you. Know, My daughter, that if you submit your will to Mine, you draw upon yourself My special delight. This sacrifice is pleasing to Me and full of sweetness. I take pleasure in it; there is power in it." (Notebook II, #904)
Fasting and mortifications are noble, and important practices to do in our lives. However, we must first follow God's will in all things. I cannot count how many times in my life that Control Freak AnneMarie has outlined all of these elaborate plans and sacrifices, and then proceeded to tell God exactly what needs to happen. Yeah...not a great idea at all. I mean, duh, God definitely knows me better than I know myself, and He always knows what's best for me. So why do I try to boss Him around? It's pretty pointless. So, I keep trying to be putty in God's hands. I keep trying to open myself up to His will. Usually, this results in me looking like an absolute fool (if not to others, at least to myself), but it's something I'm getting used to! Especially as this liturgical year draws to a close (PEOPLE! The Solemnity of Christ the King is this Sunday!), I think this passage from St. Faustina's Diary is so valuable to meditate on. This Advent, how will we actively try to submit ourselves to the will of God each day?
I try really hard, but sometimes I just don't understand. There's one thing in particular, I may have mentioned it to you in an email but I'm not positive, that I've been praying for for years. Many, many years. And it seems like the prayers go unanswered. It's hard not to feel abandoned. But I just tell myself, "okay, it's not in His will yet." But then it's so hard to understand WHY, even though it's likely not for me to understand. I'm not praying for something selfish. I've spent countless days and nights crying over the situation. But in spite of it all I try so hard to be patient. Sometimes I fail, but then I just try again. I don't understand God's will but I will submit to it, even when it's not easy to do so.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's super powerful. I mean, right there, you captured what I think is such a huge part of this whole "striving for holiness" thing: failing, but trying again, not understanding God's will, but seeking to submit to it in spite of all the difficulties. What you're going through sounds kinda similar to what some people I know have been going through for a few years. It's so darn hard to be patient when you're like, "God, I literally see no problem with my prayer being answered in this way." I've definitely had moments kinda like that in my own life before, though probably not on the scale that you've experienced, and it's super frustrating. For one of my classes in college last year, we studied the Book of Job, and it was actually a big light bulb moment for me, to see his open, trusting response to suffering and how God ultimately was working even when it seemed like prayers were going unanswered. As lame as those trials are, it is powerful, though, how God uses them to build us into stronger people-and "blind obedience" is one of the 10 "big-time" virtues of Mary, so those kinds of experiences definitely help us grow in that.
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