Rest and the Great Commandment

This scene has played out in my home more times than I can count:

I’ll be trying to accomplish something—put dinner on the table, take care of a crying child while other kids are asking me questions, respond to a month-old message from a friend—and my voice pierces through the crying and clamoring: “I’m trying, I’m working so hard, please just be patient.” I have a smile on my face, but the tension in my voice and shoulders quickly spreads throughout the room. I know that I'm on the brink of exploding into frustration. Sometimes, the dam breaks and my exhaustion and anger burst out into biting words. 

My husband’s voice calls out as he enters the room. “Do you need to go sit by yourself in your room?” 

Good man that he is, he sees through my attempted charade of patience and handles the situation while I dash down the hallway for respite. The overstimulation of the moment begins to dissipate as I let my body and my mind rest. Despite my best efforts, I struggled to patiently love others when I was wound up and filled with unrest. 

Just moments later, I am refreshed by my rest. I am renewed and once again can care for my children with patience and charity.  

While I continue to fall short of how God calls me to love, it always comes more naturally and easily when I’m encountering others from a place of rest and peace.

We often refuse to rest or even believe that we haven’t “earned the right” to rest. All sorts of excuses and objections fly up that hold us back from experiencing deep, healing rest in God. Yet, the more I explore this topic in my prayer and work, the more convicted I grow that rest is absolutely necessary for each and every one of us. While there are many mental, physical, creative, and professional benefits to regular rest, one of the most important fruits of rest slammed into my brain only a few months ago: Rest helps us live out the Great Commandment.

In St. Matthew's Gospel, we see many interactions between Jesus and the Pharisees. In one instance, the Pharisees had gathered together and one of them tested Jesus, asking him which commandment was the greatest. Jesus replied:

 “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” (Matt 22:37-40)

This command by Christ is so important, so necessary, that it is referred to as the Great Commandment. It's massively important that we strive to follow this commandment and live out God's call to love him with everything that we are, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. 

In fact, in St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians, he further emphasizes the importance of love: 

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Cor 13:1-3)

Sometimes, we think that our overly busy lives and avoidance of rest only affect ourselves. It's enticing to cram our schedules with enjoyable or beneficial opportunities, and we convince ourselves that all of these good things make our lack of rest worth it. Yes, we know that we have a greater tendency to uncharitably snap at our family members, become swept up in anxiety and stress, and grow self-absorbed when we do this, but it's not that big of a deal, right? 

Yet, when I look again at Christ's Great Commandment and the words of St. Paul, I'm forced to examine my justifications and activities in a new light. 

Snapping at my husband or kids is a failure to live out the Great Commandment, even if I feel completely justified in that response. 

Filling my schedule so much that we don’t “have the time” to pray as a family or alone may not seem like a big deal, but this also impacts our family's ability to offer ourselves to God in love and prayer. Plus, if we don't spend time in prayer with God, how can we live out his Great Commandment of love? 

I can stack my schedule with activities and community service and events and playdates with friends, but if this leaves me grasping for threads of patience as the busyness builds a strain of exhaustion and anger with others, is it worth it?

I can sign my kids up for numerous extracurricular activities and cram their days with as much academic work as possible, filling their minds with knowledge and pushing them to constantly produce tangible achievements, but if they have no time or space for prayer and the liturgy, does any of that matter?

If our family constantly fills our time at home with activity and noise so we never learn to rest and “waste time” together, how will we learn to love each other patiently?

As we examine our lives and activities, it's important to "know thyself" and recognize that we are all different. Some people have the ability to engage in a multitude of activities and fill their schedules while consistently acting with tremendous love and patience towards themselves and others. Other people need a completely different pace of life. Yet, all of us--no matter how high-energy we are--need rest in some way. 

Three years ago, I began intently thinking, writing, and speaking about the importance of rest, and this focus has only deepened over time. More and more, I've grown convicted that we all need to rest. Not only is it good for us physically and mentally, but it is spiritually necessary. If we continually push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion and frustration, how will we learn to love God and others well?