A Birth Story

As I moved through my third trimester, I was utterly clueless about a couple things. For one, when this baby would come. My firstborn came a week before his "estimated due date," but I didn't want to count on this child coming early, since each baby is different. And I was still trying to hold out for giving birth on September 8, when we celebrate the Birth of the Blessed Virgin. I was also clueless about contractions; namely, the reasons why I had been experiencing more Braxton-Hicks-type contractions with this child than I did with my firstborn. Furthermore, around my 38th week of pregnancy, there were one or two days when I experienced a few hours of mild contractions that almost had me wondering could this be really early labor? before they faded away. However, early in my 39th week, I determined that the baby must be cozy, with no labor in sight. As nice as it would be for the baby to come out, I decided that it was fine for him to stay put-he was still angled off to the side a little bit, and I wanted him to be in an optimal position for birth. 

With all of this in mind, I stayed up late at night on Wednesday, August 22, researching a term that I had recently heard: prodromal labor. As I read about prodromal labor signs, I decided that this must be a little bit of what I had been experiencing. I read that some women have weeks of prodromal labor, and as I walked off to bed, I tried to mentally prepare myself for about two or three more weeks of periodic contractions and exhaustion.

Due to my late-night researching, when I woke up at about 4 a.m. the next morning with sporadic contractions and cramping, the first thing that came to mind was Prodromal Labor! After about an hour or so of fitful sleep, I went to go sit in the bathtub for a little bit, thinking that this would cause my "prodromal labor contractions" to stop. I still had a few, and I determined that once I laid back down in bed, they would completely stop (this is what had happened in the past). Well, they still came sporadically, and at about 5:30 a.m., I asked my husband to begin timing them. I didn't want to wake my birth assistant at a ridiculous hour with a phone call about something that wasn't actually labor, so I determined that if I still happened to be contracting once 7 a.m. rolled around, I would contact her-I wanted to have a log of contractions to use as a reference, even if this wasn't labor. I lay there, slightly annoyed that I was contracting instead of getting sleep due to something that wasn't actually labor. Then, some words floated into my mind:

Don't worry about the progress; focus on the journey.

This may not be "actual labor," but I decided that I needed to shift my mentality. Instead of being frustrated that all these (sporadic) contractions weren't bringing a baby out, I could be fully in the present moment, focusing on whatever God sent my way. And so I lay there, breathing deeply, resting, praying. Come, Holy Spirit. Open me. Fill me. Break me. Mold me. Sanctify me. 

At 7 a.m., I called my birth assistant, relaying the morning's events-and my utter confusion-to her. Yes, I've been having contractions, BUT they're really sporadic and really mild and I just don't think it's actually labor. She asked me several questions, reviewing my firstborn's labor (you can read about that here). Then, she instructed me to do a shortened Miles Circuit-the logic being that if my body was contracting to help move my baby into an optimal position, the Circuit would pop him into place and my contractions would stop. OR, if I happened to be in actual labor, the Miles Circuit would help my body labor and continued contractions after the Circuit would reveal that I was probably in labor. She requested that I touch base with her in an hour.

I started holding the first position for the Miles Circuit, the "open knee chest," and the contractions seemed to lessen dramatically. Ha! I KNEW I wasn't really in labor! I thought. Twenty minutes later, I moved into the second position. Contractions were still sporadic and several minutes apart. I moved into the third and final segment, and as I began lunging and walking, the contractions started picking up. But, while they were coming about 2-3 minutes apart, some were only about 10-30 second long, and they were fairly mild for the most part. Still thoroughly confused, I called my birth assistant back. I'm honestly not sure if this is labor or not. I can talk through contractions! They're so mild! This just doesn't seem like actual labor. 

We agreed that I would go eat some breakfast and call her sometime before she left her house at 9 for a postpartum appointment. I got dressed for the day, grabbed a dish of granola with yogurt, and sat on the floor of the dining room. Contractions were still a bit mild and coming fairly regularly, about 2-4 minutes apart, but some of them were starting to stretch out to be a minute or a minute-and-a-half in duration. So, I called my birth assistant a little before 9, saying I think this actually might be labor. I don't think there's a big rush or anything, but you should cancel that appointment if it's not too much trouble. And could you let the rest of the team know?

Just a few minutes after hanging up, I was swept into a very intense contraction. Jacob! I hollered. Call or text my assistant back and let her know that they're getting stronger! I had a gut feeling that things were progressing, and I did not want to give birth without my team present, so I sat on the floor, a crucifix sitting in my lap. I chatted with my husband and toddler, breathed, prayed, and tried to enter into the journey that was taking place. Instead of focusing on different images during contractions (as I had done with my firstborn's labor), I placed my attention on each contraction that I was experiencing. I was surprised that as I did this, I felt euphoric. Giddy. After many of the contractions, I had a big smile on my face. My husband stroked my back and affirmed me, he and my son sat on the couch and prayed out loud for me, and it was so peaceful, so serene. 

***Lest you get too rosy of an image, however, I do want to mention that there was one instance when my toddler (while my husband was down the hallway) got right in my face and started touching me as a contraction was starting. I loudly and firmly called out, You need to get him away from me RIGHT NOW!***

At about 9:30 a.m., my birth assistant and her assistant-in-training (who I fondly thought of as "the assistant to the assistant," which then made me think of The Office) showed up. When my birth assistant asked me how I was doing, I found myself barely able to speak as a tear trickled down my cheek. All at once, as she had walked over, the reality really hit me: I was in actual labor, and I was in the process of birthing our second child. A few minutes later, a relative showed up and whisked our toddler away for a trip to the park. Now that our toddler was gone and 2/3 of my birth team was here, I decided that it'd be fine to move around...so I did the dishes. Call me weird, but I knew that having an unloaded dishwasher would put me at ease. My husband wanted to review a little bit of our childbirth book, so while I unloaded the dishwasher, he leaned against the counter and perused our Bradley Method book. When contractions came, I would set down my dish towel, hug my husband, and breathe deeply.

When the dishes were all dried and put away, I decided that, since I was feeling quite a bit of pressure, I would take a bath. When my birth assistant heard me mention this to my husband, she perked her ears up a little bit. That's totally fine, but I just want you to know that if you're still early on in labor, a bath could potentially stall things for a bit. Inwardly, I chuckled to myself. The way this labor was playing out, I was pretty sure that I was far past early labor. But, I asked my assistant to check my dilation just to make sure. My birth assistant started checking, and her brow furrowed, a puzzled expression crossing her face. I can't really find your cervix...I guess I'll call you an 8 or 9? she murmured. So, I hopped in the bathtub. Here, one of my favorite moments from labor happened: 

I was swept up in a very powerful, very intense contraction. Once it had faded away, my  husband drily  remarked, That was a really good practice contraction for when real labor happens! I began to laugh. And as I laughed, my hugely pregnant belly began to bounce up and down, which made me laugh harder. This laughter also caused my body to start contracting mildly, so I was trying to stop laughing, but the whole situation was so funny! My birth assistant came dashing into the bathroom, asking Is everything okay? I tried to explain the joke, but I'm not sure if she really got it. 

Soon after, I saw my midwife entering the house (I later found out that she arrived at 10:15 a.m.-she lives much further away than the rest of the team). After a few minutes or so, she came in, wished me a Happy Baby Day! and listened to the heartbeat. Around this time, I knew that I needed to get out of the tub. It was a nice little bit of relief and comfort, but I was ready to move on. Once I was out of the tub (it took me a little while to do this since I kept having to pause for contractions), I declared that I wanted to walk. My husband and I slowly made our way down the hallway and across the living room, and I started thinking of The Walking Dead  and how it was great preparation for my firstborn's labor. 

We did a small loop, and when we were back in the hallway by the bathroom, I had a contraction that was different. Was that the urge to push? With my firstborn, I did not experience the urge to push until after I had been directed to start pushing, so this was a very new experience for me! But, I was standing over our white wool rug, and I decided that I really didn't want to push a baby out in this particular spot, so I breathed and relaxed through the contraction and we kept walking. As we passed my birth team, I alerted them that pushing would happen soon. A few moments later, I felt another powerful contraction coming, but I did not feel the urge to push; yet one of my assistants still scurried over to throw down something on the floor. After the contraction, I smiled with a False alarm! and walked a few more steps. 

But then it came. Powerful contractions, pressure, and an unmistakable urge to push. My arms around my husband's neck, I hugged him and breathed deeply, quickly, letting my body and instincts be my guide. I felt the piercing burn of pushing and I instinctively bent my knees, throwing all of my weight on my husband. After what seemed like an eternity, though in reality was probably just a few minutes, I heard a small splatter, followed by an assistant declaring: "Water! Clear." I knew that the baby would be out soon since, like my firstborn, there was a small water-balloon bit of the bag of waters in front of the head. Once the contraction subsided, I murmured, I need to rest on the floor for a minute and put one knee on the floor, one knee in a squatting position as I rested. Another contraction came and I let my body breath and push as it needed, holding onto the strong support of my husband and listening to the words of affirmation that my birth team was surrounding me with. Then I heard "There's the head!" and suddenly, my husband and I were holding our squirming son together between our bellies. Somehow, while my husband held me up, he managed to catch our baby! We excitedly gazed at our small child. He had come out at 10:59 a.m., just a few hours after I had asked my birth team to come. It was an incredible experience, and I am so grateful for the gift of little Matthias and for the joy of our family :) 

Happy 7 hours outside of the womb, little guy!

I think it's really cool that I've now had two wonderful labors which had striking similarities, but also large differences. I plan on writing a post in the future with my thoughts on the homebirth experience, so if you have any questions concerning that, please let me know!